This week is CRAZY

I think my brain broke. 

I'm not quite sure what my secret was for last semester, but I was definitely not this stressed. Basically, starting this last Saturday, I've: volunteered twelve hours for Girl Scouts, cheered for Super Bowl XLVII, had a math test,  had a meteorology quiz, had a meteorology test, had a meeting about a summer internship, had an interview for said internship, done homework, gone to the gym, planned a trip to Chicago, and forgot to breathe. I like being somewhat busy, but I hate running around for things. Is this what the next 3 years are going to be like? If so, I need a better planner. I know that other kids have jobs on top of all of this, bless their souls. I don't think I could do it.

Currently, I'm trying to get caught up on my math homework, while trying to get ahold of people to talk to for this internship. Everyone is ignoring me. Maybe it's a sign. 

A tell all about my college experience.

This isn't an assignment. I just wanna write some things down. I also don't wanna go back and just sit in my room when I could be looking at the lake. I don't even know if I'll publish this or post it to Facebook???


YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I'M FEELING?

It's common for people to tell you, before college, that "You and your roommate will get along fine!", "You'll meet tons of friends!", "you'll love it!", "You'll get used to it!", "You won't be replaced!".

1. You and your roommate will get along fine: I had started talking over Facebook to this girl who was also going to my college. We met at registration and then again mo ve in weekend, and it was just dandy until it started going down the toilet in October. Admittedly, I had posted two tweets about my former roommate on my twitter that weren't so nice. They weren't anything anything really bad. I remember one being that she liked country music and that I didn't and another one was how she talked really loudly. Both were true but she didn't like that (she didn't even have twitter so I thought she wouldn't see them.) I apologized and took them down. A couple weeks after that incident, my RA came to me and told me that I should stop "tweeting about your roommate because she is very upset." That angered me a little bit because 1) it was my twitter and 2) I hadn't posted anything about her. I subtweet random strangers that annoy me a little bit. Again, nothing aggressive or out of hand was posted on Twitter. I try not to do that because I've already learned my lesson. There was tension in the relationship and soon neither of us talked to each other unless we had to. At this point, I absolutely hated college and would come home every other weekend. I would call some of my friends crying about how I had no one to physically cry to and how I didn't know anyone here. I called my mom and told her my plans to switch colleges in the spring, and she though she told me to stick out a year, she fully supported any decision I would make.

Two weeks before thanksgiving, I had finally had enough of this other girl and was thinking about putting in for a new roommate. The thing that drove me over the edge was this:

I was in my friend's room and I got a text from the girl right across the hall from me. She told me she had to tell me something important, and to come to her room right when I got back. So I did. Apparently my roommate and her friends were talking badly about me and throwing my clean, folded, clothes around the room. When I heard this, obviously I was upset. So i walked into the room and, as sarcastically as I could, said "Wow! I should really put these clean clothes away… Shouldn't I?" They stopped talking right away and the ring leader said "Wow… let's go to the lounge and talk," and walked out. 

The day after, I went to res life, got a new room assignment, and never looked back. I've been substantially happier since I've left Oak 2B. *Shayla, if you're reading this, thanks for not being crazy. 

2. You'll meet tons of friends: Sure, some people might become friends with half of the student body, but for me that's the complete opposite. During the first week, everyone is lonely, confused, alone. I was accepted into a group that had 5 or so people in it that I would eat with everyday and we would all hangout, but as said above, these "friends" didn't last. I started talking to another girl, Kal, that would start at BSU in the fall. We met the first couple of days, along with her roommate Lexi and we all became friends. Kal invited me to a group on campus called Intervarsity where I met Bridget, and then we became friends. Basically, I've been friends with these three wonderful people all year. Unfortunately, one moved away, but we've kept pretty good contact. I've heard it's quality over quantity and that's what I've gotten. *I apologize for anyone I've left out!

3. You'll love it: Actually, until right before Christmas break, I hated it here and was bound and determined to switch. I wasn't even going to register for Spring classes because I was through at BSU (heheh that rhymed). My mom said, "You should still register, just incase you change your mind," and so I did… JUST INCASE. I told my small group of friends here, and they wanted me to stay. I had it in my head that I would be sufficiently happier back home with my old friends, and if I moved to Grand Forks, I would have a job, and that would make me happier. It wasn't until half way through break that I started to miss my friends, my roommate, and my campus. Being in North Dakota for three weeks made me realize that nothing was changing, and although I did miss home... I didn't really miss home. I thought I missed home.

I went home last weekend because I forgot a ton of things (surprise) and I needed to do laundry. The whole time I was thinking "I wonder what's going on in Bemidji?"

4. You'll get used to it: As stated above, I really have. I'm already planning out my future year. I'm excited for what's ahead of me. This semester, I've figured out a schedule, who my friends are, and what classes I need to excel in. Even though I still don't know what I fully want to go into, I am excited. I'm applying to be a residential assistant which is a live in… helper.. basically for freshman students. The only conflict with that, is EuroSpring 2015. It would be me going to Oxford, England, for 5 weeks taking 9 credits. Because traveling is such a big part of my life, I hope that I get the chance to go.

5. You won't be replaced: I don't actually think anyone told me this; I think I've been telling myself this. I have this irrational fear that people won't talk to me when I come home because I've been out of their lives for so long. This last week, I've felt like everyone at home is replacing me. I know they aren't, and I know it's unfair for me to think that people pause their life because I'm not in it. I know that Park River residents go about their life whether I'm there or not.

Anyway… those are my thoughts. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Tell Me About Yourself

This is due February 3. If you have a suggestion for anything else in this paper PLEASE TELL ME.

Who am I? This question can easily be summed up in one generic sentence: “I am Alex Kizima, and my favorite color is purple.” This question cannot be answered by any birth certificate, drivers license, or high school diploma. It can, however, be truly answered by my eighteen years of experiences and relationships that have impacted how I’ve grown up and who I’ve become.

Everyone has labels whether they know it or not; I have many. I am a daughter. It all started on April 17, 1995. I was born to Travis and Carmen on a Monday, the day after Easter at 10:35 am, weighing 8 pounds and 2 ounces. Everyone tells me that I was always as happy as a clam. I am a grandchild, the first for both sets of my grandparents. I am a niece to seven of my aunts and uncles. I ran solo until I became a sister. My sister Kaylan became my sidekick when she was born in May of 1997. She was my first best friend. In 2000, I started kindergarten. I was a student in Grafton, ND. I went to school there until 2002 when my mom got a job and decided to move to Park River where I went to school until I was a Junior. I transferred to and graduated from Valley-Edinburg High School in 2013. I am currently one at Bemidji State University. Between all of my schooling, I turned into a step-daughter twice. Killing two birds with one stone, my dad married my step mom, who had two children, in July of 2010. Now I’m a stepsister to Shelby and Dylan and a half-sister to Jaxon. My mom married my step-dad in 2011 and made me a half-sister again last March to Andy.

I was a licensed driver when I passed my test sophomore year of high school. My first car was a silver 1996 Ford Taurus that never started in the winter and shook if you drove it too fast. After working my butt off and passing down the Taurus to my sister, I was able to buy a 2009 Nissan Altima that is reliable and fun to drive. I was able to buy it because I’m an employee of a Cenex gas station. I started working there in August of 2012. It was one of my favorite jobs because of the amazing co-workers that work there. I’m a best friend to one person who works there, Brandyn. Working with him was always a blast; we got paid to hangout and talk to customers. I’m a friend to many people. A big part of my life is devoted to caring for others. It doesn’t matter if someone needs me at four am, I will be there. I’ve been lucky enough to grow up with amazing people and to have met great people in college. Some I met through school and extracurriculars like FFA or 4-H, others through horse events because I am an equestrian. Back in 2008, I got what every little girl wishes for christmas. I recieved a horse named Red. She is child friendly and is great for beginners. Two years and a ton of experience later, I got my main horse, Amigo. They’ve both taught me a lot over the years about myself and have allowed me to meet so many people in the horse world.

I called my mom to ask her how she would label me and she told me that I am injury prone. My first incident was when I was 6. I was standing on a one sided table and it fell on top of me and somehow, I cut my upper lip open with my tooth. When I was 7, I clenched a lightbulb too hard, and I cut my finger open. When I was 13, I fell through a grate in our floor, fell into a window, and had to be rushed to the ER for 30 some stitches; it made my right elbow really ugly. At age 16, I had to get two rods and 26 screws in my back to fix my kyphosis. I should include that I am a roommate. Before coming to college, I had started talking to another girl who was also going to BSU. After facebook chatting for a month and assuming she wasn’t crazy and wouldn’t eat deodorant, I asked if she wanted to be my roommate for this year. Everything was going swell until she turned into a very awful person three months into the term. I had to switch buildings and roommates, but it all worked out because the person I’m rooming with this year is one hundred times better. I am an addict to piercings and I love tattoos. Since turning 18, I’ve acquired nine new piercings, one tattoo, and I want many more. I can tell you what day I got them and from where. Some people need drugs, I just need new jewelry. I am brand conscience. Unfortunately, this one is very true and it drains my bank account very often. Most of the items I own, whether it be jackets, jeans, or electronics are usually brand name. Some would call it a curse because I could get knock off products for way cheaper, but instead I spend my money on a logo. I am a traveler, full of wanderlust. I’ve always been traveling. My dad is a truck driver so I’ve been fortunate to visit all the states except Hawaii. In the last five years, I’ve been extrememly fortunate to visit Washington D.C, Chicago, Minneapolis, Las Vegas, Indianapolis, and Cozumel, Mexico. I hope to hop across the pond and travel Europe within the next year or two. My dream destination is Rome, Italy. If I ever land a job where I travel a lot, I would be in heaven, but sadly, I still have no idea what I want to do career wise. College would be easier if I knew exactly what I wanted to major in. I am an undeclared major as of right now. It’s hard to decide on what I want to do for the rest of my life when I’m not even twenty years old yet. I think one of my favorite labels is "role model". I like being a person to whom others look up to.

A first grade girl once told me, “Labels are for soup cans!”  A great little quote from someone so tiny, but it’s human nature to label something we don’t understand. I’m sure there are many more labels that can describe me. If you asked my family or friends, they would probably say different, hopefully nice things about me. Before starting this paper, all I could think to say about myself is that I laugh at my own jokes and I’m addicted to twitter, but after thinking about my life and talking to my friends and calling my mom countless times to get the dates right, there’s more to myself than I thought.

Nuts and Bolts

30 September 2013

This is one of my favorite topics because it's one of the hardest things I've overcome. It took about a year to get back to "normal" and I still struggle with some things still today.

When I was thirteen, I noticed that I could slouch over more than a normal person and that my back seemed to hurt a lot. I told my mom and we went to the doctor, but the doctor told us there was nothing to worry about; it was normal. After a couple years, my posture progressively got worse. My back started aching when I was about fifteen, so I told my mom again and she brought me to a specialist. It turned out that I was diagnosed with Scheurermann’s Kyphosis, meaning that the vertebrae in my spine grew in the shape of a wedge and couldn’t keep my spine up. It resulted in a 78° curve in my spine when the normal curve is in the lower 50s range. I was referred to a specialist at Mayo hospital in Rochester, MN.

If you’ve never been to Mayo Hospital, you’re lucky. If you have, you know that it’s a huge hospital that people from all over the world come to. We had to go there 3 times. The first time we went down, my mom booked us a room at this very ghetto hotel, where we stayed each time. The floors were green, the beds smelled funny, and there were mirrors on three of the four walls. We ordered chinese food; it was the best (this became sort of a tradition between my mom and I. We’d stay in a ghetto hotel, eat chinese, and in the morning, go see the doctors). The day after, I had my appointment. My mom walked with me through the intricate tunnel system that is set up under the hospital. Once we got above ground, we were greeted by very beautiful marble floors, high ceilings, and blown glass chandeliers. After we checked in, we had to go to the pediatric floor. We met with the doctor and he told us our options: I could try physical therapy for a year or have an extensive surgery. We opted for the PT first and were sent back home.

After a year of intensive physical therapy and frequent visits to the chiropractor, my condition just got worse. We booked our second visit to Mayo. I finally made the decision to get surgery to fix it. “Fixing it” meant getting two titanium rods, 24 screws, and three hooks put into/around my spine. It wasn’t a light decision to make. The third visit there was the time I got surgery.

June 28, 2011 was the day my posture changed for the better. I was in the ICU for 3 days, and booked in the normal hospital for 4 for days. I was finally discharged on the 4th of July. It was a long road to recovery, about a year until I was fully healed. I had to learn to move different ways and adjust to airport security every time they pat me down.  Fast forward almost 2 ½ years, here I am. I’ve never felt better, and I don’t regret it at all. I’m glad I went through with it, because it improved my self-esteem and health.  

What do you see?

16 September 2013

I had to look at a photo and write what I saw.

In this photo, I see two young, African American boys, who seem to be the same age, reading comic books. They could be family, because they’re wearing the same jacket. They’re dressed in heavy coats and hats and don’t seem to have backpacks, so I assume that it might be winter break. No adult is pictured, but the person not photographed could be one. The boy on the left is slouched over and seems to be either sleeping or fully engulfed in the comic. The one on the right is intently reading; he’s even holding two. It might be a long subway ride on the subway. I don’t feel a strong connection, but I do remember being a little kid and devoting my attention to something I’ve wanted for a long time and finally got.

It’s the day after Christmas. The boys have a little money in their pocket, so they put on their warmest apparel and hopped on the subway with their aunt who wasn’t pictured. The best place to buy comics at this time was the grocery store that was a 15 minute ride by subway. Since it was right after the holiday, both boys were tired, but they couldn’t wait to get the new edition of x-men. They made sure to pick up an extra for their younger brother who couldn’t go because their mother wouldn’t let him. He was too much of a handful for their aunt. After they got the comics, they had another ride on the subway. That time was good because they could read the comic. Even though they were tired, one made sure to read the whole thing; the other fell asleep.

Compare and Contrast essay

7 October 2013

THIS PAPER SUCKED FOR ME. It had to be three pages of comparing two things. I decided to compare my car with another one I was considering.

Most peoples' first cars are usually only good enough to get from point A to B. Mine was a 1994 Ford Taurus.  My friends made fun of it and called it “the Boat”. It had character. The inside was purple; the outside was silver with rust above the tire wells. There were huge cracks in the windshield, the doors couldn't lock, and the back windows couldn't roll down otherwise they would never roll back up again. The back suspension was giving out, so it sagged in the back, hence the nickname. The engine sounded like it had one million crickets in it when I started it.  But man, did I love that car. Even though I couldn't take it more than 30 miles from town, because of the possibility it wouldn't start again, it was still reliable 50% of the time. I had that car from the time I got my license, at age fifteen, to last October. Before me, my mom had it.

The time came, a little less than a year ago, for me to pick out a new car. I was started a new chapter in my life: College. My Taurus would never get me from home to Bemidji. My mom was a big help in my car hunt. We went to the local car dealership and told the salesman what I wanted. I needed something that was reliable, under my budget, and had more headspace because I'm a very torso tall person. Jeremy, our salesman, let us look around the lot. Before the car hunt, my heart was set on a Chevy Cobalt. My mind changed when I saw the two perfect cars: a Nissan Altima and a Chrysler 300. Both cars are extremely good looking, but what’s the difference between the two? In this essay, I’ll compare both of them.

Comparing the two is an important step toward finding the right vehicle for anyone in general. First, let’s look at the Chrysler 300. The one I looked at was a 2005, white, a little over 100,000 miles, and within my price point. I’m not much on engine details, but it had a 3.6 L. Speed and power all in one. Gas mileage was a little iffy, getting 19 in the city and 31 on the highway. You have to sacrifice class for fuel efficiency, I guess. Even at the lowest price point, base 300s come equipped with leather seating for easy cleaning and an auxiliary port to plug an iPod or cell phone into for music. The outside is what really gets me; it’s like a low class Rolls-Royce. Getting into the car was nice too because I didn’t have to rub my head against the doorway, which I usually have to do for most cars.

The other car was a 2009, charcoal grey Nissan altima. It had the same amount of miles as the 300. Engine size was a little smaller coming in as 2.5 L. It doesn’t have as much power as the 300, but it will go faster. A good thing for speed demons like me. Because my house is 171 miles away from Bemidji, I needed something that was very fuel efficient. This is where the Altima shined. In the city, this car got 23 miles per gallon, and on the highway - 32. The interior was all black cloth. I like that more than leather because in the winter, leather is too cold and in the summer, it’s too cold. It had a nice sound system when I plugged my music into it. My old Taurus only had a tape player, so anything beyond that was pretty cool.

Even though the 300 was more aesthetically pleasing on the outside, I had to go with my gut. I got the Nissan Altima. Throughout the summer, I worked hard practically every day to make sure I could pay the payments every month. I’ve made a ton of memories just cruising around town in this car. Filling it up at the gas station isn’t too bad either. The gas tank holds about twenty gallons. Since I get thirty miles per gallon, that means my friends and I can drive to Grand Forks, ND, which is 60 miles away from my town without feeling guilty. If I could make any changes to the car, I would put in a heated steering wheel. That would be really nice during the winter. Instead of the car only being two wheel drive, it would help if it were four wheel drive. Last winter, while driving around town, I needed to do a three point turn. I didn’t get too far when I accidentally backed into a little buildup of snow. After trying to get unstuck, I had to call my friend who owns a huge pickup. Fortunately, we didn’t have to hook up chains and drag it out. It just took some pushing.

Overall, I’m very happy with my car. It runs great; I haven’t had any mechanical issues so far. It rides smoothly and is very comfortable to ride in. It’s a big improvement from the Boat. All the windows work, I can lock my doors, and the engine does sound sick. Hopefully, I can do what my mom did and pass it down onto my children. But until then, it’ll be my baby.

Side note: When I was test driving with my mom in the back and Jeremy in the front, I approached an intersection that I THOUGHT was a four way stop… it ended up being a 2 way stop and I almost killed everyone in the car.

Sherman Alexie

9 September 2013

I had to write about one sentence from a handout Mrs. W gave us.

“... and since I loved my father with an aching devotion, I decided to love books as well.” Imagine if Sherman Alexie’s father hadn’t loved books? What if his father were like the other indian boys’ fathers who had conformed to the indian ways of learning? Sherman might have missed out on the wonderful opportunities that he’s had in his life as a writer. He may not have found out that he was a child prodigy. All of the things that he began to learn at a young age might not have been possible if it weren’t for his father’s love of books. The love and devotion Sherman had towards his father was enough to make him try something new. In the beginning, he didn’t know how to read. But, because of his love for his father, he wanted to expand his horizons and begin to read. Sherman wanted to go beyond just loving books. He wanted to help himself and other Indian children. Sherman became a role model for others just like his dad was for him. Sherman’s dad started a chain reaction; he was influential, his son was influential, and now the kids Sherman influences will hopefully influence others.